Facebook

Ok, I joined Facebook a couple of weeks ago. I ONLY joined to keep an eye on Ali, who wanted a Facebook page. This is what Facebook has done to my life.

It has made me VERY insecure.

Daily, Ali asks me how many friends I have. Holy crap, I don't have as many friends as she does and not even close to as many as my high school senior class president, James Clarke, has. He has an obnoxious amount like 1,500.

This is how a typical Facebook interaction goes for me.

I find a person I know. I do a happy little dance, seriously. I have found some people that I have loved dearly over the years. I get SO excited and then this happens:

"Will they even remember me?"

"Do they hate me?"

"Do they remember something stupid I did from my teen years?"

"Did I accidentally snub them last week at the library or market?"

OK, so all of that makes me doubt even asking them to be my Facebook friend. Asking them to be my friend is a very big commitment. And, what if they decline me??? That has not happened yet, but I fear it happening daily. After I get up the guts to ask them to be my friend, I wait. Will they be my friend? Sometimes it is a short wait. Sometimes it is a very long wait. (Shila Dass Conway--you know who you are. You took like WEEKS to accept my friend request. You left me hanging sister, feeling SO insecure :))

The very best is when I find a friend from long ago and they are HAPPY I found them and send me little note asking about my life. That makes my little heart so happy. I have had very good friends in the past and have surrounded myself with fabulous friends right now. My friends keep me strong.

Once I get past all the insecurities of Facebook, I love it.