Super Evil Oliver

We have a cat named Oliver (whom we refer to as a zebra).  Whenever the kids aren't around, he turns evil.  And that is really saying something because he is mild-level-evil on a daily basis.  Yesterday he brought a dead squirrel to our bedroom door.  Poor Matt has never experienced that kind of "love" before.  I explained that Oliver was just saying "I love you."  Matt was a good sport.  Squirrel blood and all. 

Last night, after dark, I took the trash out.  As I was coming back in, and after I had threatened Oliver with, "So help me, if you bite my ankles I will kick you," I heard the little neighbor boy scream, "Oh my gosh it is a TIGER."  I looked over and he had just seen Oliver run across the road.  He set off in hot pursuit of Oliver.  I was thinking, good, torment Oliver a bit.  But before I made it all the way inside I heard the boy announce that he saw Oliver on a missing cat poster and thought they should take the cat and get the reward.  Don't worry, I did hesitate for a minute knowing they could never actually catch Oliver, I claimed that evil little devil as my own and asked them not to haul him off. 

I will be the only one hauling him off anywhere!!